People who want credit for stuff they’re (not) supposed to do

Now this is a Chris Rock joke so watch it then we’ll discuss. This has a shit load of bad language in so keep that in mind if you're at work or at you children's nursery. This is just a snippet I'll post the whole 8 minute clip at the end of the post because it's funny as fuck and if you haven't seen it you should.

Ok watched it? Good. How true is this? I mean I have literally just seen something on Facebook, a person I know shared a photo of a guy holding up a sign that reads “I’ve been clean off Meth and Heroin for 1 and a half years, can I get a like and a share?”. No, no you can’t. See I have several problems with this. 1 what good is it actually going to do if I like and share this photo? You don’t get paid from it. You wont get famous particularly, unless someone makes you into a meme. And you aren’t supposed to do drugs in the first place you fucking dumb, dumb. Well not those drugs anyway. If you’re stupid enough to try them knowing that they are massively addictive, well you stupid as hell.

And don’t get it twisted I’m not an anti drug guy by any means. In fact, I think all drugs should be legalized and regulated. Like if the reason you don’t smoke meth is because it’s illegal you’re an idiot. The reason you shouldn’t smoke Meth is because that shit will fuck you up, that should be your reason. Like if all drugs were made legal you’d run out and grab a gram of coke because the government say it’s ok, fucking sheeple.

Any way that’s a short one for today. I feel more stuff about Facebook bubbling inside me so I’m probably going to dedicate tomorrows rant to Facebook folks. God I hate Facebook.

 Here's the full Chris Rock clip I promised.

People who ruin your day as soon as you wake up

Ever woke up in a good mood only to have it ruined by a dickhead? 

I have far too often.

For me this comes in the form of being woken up by; shouting/loud conversations, people stomping up and down stairs, hoovering, doors slamming, cupboards slamming and my favourite bickering (when two people are arguing/disagreeing but not overly aggressively more when a teenager is told to do something and they fight out there cause with a parent, that kind of thing).

This is at most inconsiderate and disrespectful or at least absent minded and just a little bit cunty. The biggest problem I have with this is that I am the kind of person who if I knew someone hadn’t got to be up early, if it was their one day off from work say, I would make sure to be quite in everything I did. But again that’s just me. It seems a lot of my problems with other people stem from the fact that I expect more from them because I would go out of my way to not impact someone’s day negatively. From my life experience it seems we are the 1%, the thinkers, the considerate.

This is not completely an act of being woken up prematurely mind you. This also comes in the form of people moving your stuff. This is my number one hate with people you have to live with. Nothing winds me up more than not being able to find something I need/want to use as it has been moved from the place where I left it. The worst thing about this for me is I could understand moving my stuff if I in fact left it on the floor in the middle of a communal room for people to trip over, but I wouldn’t do that as I am a pretty considerate person as stated before. I mean come on moving a wallet from one shelf to another is not tidying, its borderline mental illness and is completely unnecessary unless the original location of the wallet was taking up space in which something else is more suited, which is never the case the original location is always left bare and unused merely two feet from the new location (this is a personal one can you tell?).

What annoys me more is when the same person who moves your shit then leaves I don’t know let’s say a handbag on the stairs, about three or four steps up pushed to the side but with the strap lying across the step like a bear trap waiting to latch onto your ankle but instead of nearly cutting your foot off, gravity sends you flying back down those four steps, which might as well be a ten foot drop as the butterflies in your stomach have no concept of falling distances. This however has never actually happened to me but I’ve had a few near misses.

Shared bathrooms are also hard in a house full of inconsiderate people. I luckily have a toilet in shed that’s attached to our house for “emergencies”. Thank God, Allah, Buddah and Bruce Wayne for that outside toilet, its saved my ass (more like my underwear) more times than I can count due to people having long showers or cleaning the bathroom at 8 a.m.

Unfortunately, there is sweet fuck all you can do about this most of the time and your best bet is to sit out the shit storm (sometimes a little more literal than I’d like) and dream of a day where you can live alone in a cave away from horrible people. You might even befriend a fox and a squirrel and live happily ever after in a sort of mashup of Jungle Book and The Animals of Farthing wood. (Oh shit, I’ve finally lost it).

But anyway on a serious note as Fleetwood Mac say “Don’t stop thinking about tomorrow”, and even though you might still be stuck surrounded by these people tomorrow you wont be for the rest of your life, so for now work at getting away, make a plan so that you will never have a morning ruined again.

People Who Bring You Down, When You’re Trying to Achieve Something

I’m starting to think this blog should have been called The Types of People I Hate.

So there are these horrible parasitic types that drag you down when you’re up. I’m sure this has happened to all of us although maybe everyone else hasn’t always been surrounded by the miserable negative people I have.

These are the (as Kevin Smith would say) why people, the people who always as why or always see the worst in everything, the every cloud has a shit stained lining people. The type of person who you’d tell you won the £10mil jackpot on the lottery and they’d say why couldn’t it have been the £72mil Euro. Try to surround yourselves with why not people as Kevin Smith would say, and you know what he’s right. For most of my life I was a why person and all I can say is thank fuck I’m not anymore.

These people are generally negative in every aspect of there life and that’s fine because I once read that “their (negative people) life is their punishment” which I truly believe. The most negative people I’ve ever met are some of the biggest underachievers on the planet. People with potential which they never full reached and as a consequents are living lives that were chosen for them rather than lives that they chose themselves. This is one of the saddest things that can happen to a human, but I believe we choose our own paths. These people believe that they are powerless when negative thing have happened to them, I say the way you react to the bad stuff that happens to you defines you.

Don’t get caught in the trap of negative thinking, it’s a vicious cycle that is hard to get out of.

Again going back to Kevin Smith but in his book Tough Shit (which is in my top 10 books ever, especially for motivation and positivity. Oh and dick jokes, that guy loves dick jokes) he say if you want to do something good encourage an artist. This is a top tip, I love this, because there are too many negative people in the world telling you that you can’t do something or you can’t achieve something. One that’s been thrown at me quite a lot in my life has been: “But how many people who try that actually make money doing it?” or one of the million variations that this comes in. How defeatist is that? I was listening to an old Joe Rogan Experience podcast the other day where he had Magnus Walker on. If you don’t know who Magnus is, he is an ex-fashion designer, ex-film locationer (not the technical term, I just mean he rented out property he owned to film companies) and now spends all his time making custom Porsches as a hobby. Any way his story goes like this: he was born in Sheffield, England and never knew what he wanted to do so after sitting on the dole for a while he went to America and the rests history. Anyway on the podcast he said how in England (especially outside London) you are told to stay in your box, to not strive to be anything other than what you are expected to be and to “live within your means”. This is certainly true for me growing up in middle England, hell I’m the first in my immediate family to go to university and get a degree, just let that sink in a minute the first member of my family finished university in 2015. Why go to university when you can work in a shop? Or be a builder? No thank you.

So fuck people who try to bring you down. At the end of the day no one knows what’s best in life, which is certainly true for everyone I’ve ever met. Most people I know have no idea what they’re doing at 45 so who the fuck are they to judge anyone. And as my man Magnus would say “go with your gut feeling” as you know what’s best for you.

People who don’t respect you

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s a lack of respect from people. Now that may have made me sound like a pensioner, in fact that definitely made me sound like a pensioner but oh well they’re not all bad, I mean they do always have sweets, even if they are Werther’s Originals. But anyway back to business.

The people I’m talking about are the kind of people who for lack of a better phrase look down their noses at you, the kind of people who are ignorant to anyone else’s way of life that isn’t their own. These people are usually beige, not even beige, more magnolia or even cream in colour and the only reason they aren’t plain white is they might have smoked a cigarette once, or possibly been clubbing, they may even have a small easily hidden tattoo. The most boring type of people you will ever meet. The type of people who are born, work, live and die in the same town for 70 odd years until they expire. They may be survivors but they never really live. I may have stolen that but I can’t remember where from if I have so lets just pretend its mine.

These are the kind of people who will jump at any chance to have a snide little comment the kind of comment when someone in the room asks if somebody has moved something they chime in with a “Well I haven’t moved, it have I?” this can also come in the form of a “Well it wasn’t me, was it?”. They are usually passive aggressive people who would shit themselves if you merely raised your voice to them.

These ugly (always personality, sometimes physically) people are the kind of people who put themselves on pedestals and will be quick to put you down if you’re out of work or trying to do something that they deem “different” even though they are so vanilla, strawberry seems like a walk on the wild side to them (but more on dull, boring people in the future).

I guess what I’m getting at is that there is no need to ever be like this with people, not really. I always think that there is no one set way to live your life. Some people are rich, some are poor, some love their jobs, some hate their jobs, some fat, some thin. No need to carry on I’m sure you get it. The thing is everyone wants different things from life and defines success in a different way. My definition of success is that of the legend that is Bob Dylan - “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.”

That quote is sugar for me even if its shit for you. That sums up my philosophy on life quite well.

The worst thing about this type of person is they come in so many forms they might be just some do-gooder with their nose in the air, or they could be a middle manager at some pointless company who doesn’t seem to realize how easily they could be replaced by some other robot, or even an artist (this one saddens me I hate it when creative people are negative).

I guess what I’m getting at is distance yourself from these people and when/if you ever become more successful than them never let them forget it, you know unless they are a perfect stranger, I’m not condoning stalking strangers to prove a point here.

Intro – Bite Your Thread

How fucking cliché here’s an introduction post. But oh well I thought it was worth explaining this Blog and what it’s about.

I will do so by first explaining the title of the Blog.

“Bite Your Thread” - Compose a well thought out response and not post it because it is socially or otherwise better not to.
“They’re very stubborn. Don’t waste your time on them, bite your thread.”

http://definithing.com/bite-your-thread/

Now my idea of this Blog is sort of the opposite, it is to compose a response to something verbal or physical that happens to me and to then post it instead of saying it to the person in real life.

It’s that simple, someone pisses me off with their words or actions or just generally annoys me with their existence (which happens a lot). I simply post it here in rant form which will hopefully be amusing in a comic sense, give you someone to empathise with or at the very least make you glad you’re not me.

Oh shit, I’ve just thought this sounds like it’s going to be some sort of rant therapy to stop me being violent or otherwise cunty to people in my real life… Well you know what it might actually be just that.

Anyhoo that’s the intro done keep checking back to see what type of person has pissed me off on that particular day, be it a loud snoring stranger on a train or a middle aged white man in BMW who thinks he’s the only one on the road.

Just realised a better title for the Blog would have been Biting My Thread but oh well I’ve made it now too late.