Fake People

“Oh my God how are you? You look amazing, we really should meet up more often”

Sound familiar? You’ve experienced fake people. But these fake people are fine, they are in and out of your life no fuss.

The worst fake people are those semi-permanent fuckers who don’t know you, will never really try to get to know you, and have no personality to get to know. The people who are sickly sweet to your face but talk shit behind your back. The scum of the earth if you will?

The fake people I’m talking about are those who sometimes try to give you advice in an artificial happy-tone when the contents of what they are saying is somewhat negative. Now that sounds like a complex thing but if you’ve ever experienced it you’ll know what I mean. And if you’ve ever been unemployed I am 90% sure you will have had one of these in the form of a “I’ve heard that new supermarket down the road is hiring, and with your degree you could go in at management level, a jobs a job after all”. Oh my God thank you for such wonderful advice I spent 3 years at university specializing in a subject to become an Aldi manager. Not that there is anything wrong with that at all, but when it’s the wrong advice for you there is literally no point in even talking, especially when you’re fake as fuck and know nothing about me.

An easy way to know if you have a fake person in your life is to see what others say about them. If other close family members say things like “they are hard to get to know” or “they’re a funny person” or even a “There is something fucking wrong with them” you may have a fake person. See if people are not sure about them even after spending time with them then there’s a problem for sure.

Fake people are usually nice, which is the worst thing about them. You lose your shit with them you look like a cunt and they walk away smelling of flowers (albeit artificial ones). And when I say nice I mean fake nice obviously, kiss you on the cheek but stab you in the back kind of people.

Now there is a time to be fake. There always will be times when you bump into a friend who you haven’t seen in 5+ years and have nothing in common with anymore but still feel the need to speak to them. This is the only acceptable fakeness and does not make you a fake person. The problem is with negatively charged fake people not fake to not hurt someone’s feelings fake.

This is all quite confusing and fake people are one of the hardest types of people to have in your life (believe me).  The worst thing being I have no solution to them. Ignore them until they are out of your lives is about the best advice but that’s neither here nor there as it’s easier said than done when you don’t have to put up with these people.

Well that sucks leaving this one on a bit of a down note. Sorry.